The basic reason we are here is to learn more or less about America's effect on the Philippine nation and I have had no shortage of education in that department since I have been here. Upon arriving all I really knew on the subject was that America had colonized this nation for a period of time in the early 20th century. that was all I knew and I had only recently learned that. Our professor here at the University of the Philippines said that when he was in the states he had talked to a few people on the streets and they had no idea the US was ever even involved here. I was amazed to hear this although upon further thought I realize that that could just as well have been me a few months ago. I'm not saying people from the US have any excuse to be so ignorant, but its amazing what our schools simply skip over in our textbooks. I don't recall getting any education on this subject in high school. Going from no education on the matter, to getting a thorough overview of the issue from an honest perspective in our first class kind of blew my mind. It was so nice to learn about the incredibly unreasonable acts that our nation has committed from an unfiltered source. Being an American in the class and getting this blunt truth definitely took me out of my comfort zone but in the best way possible.

One of our readings for this week was an article written by Mark Twain. It is an awesomely intelligent attack on America's attitude toward those we consider "undeveloped" or view as "people sitting in darkness". I found it interesting that one of our nation's most beloved and celebrated authors had such a spot on vocal dissent towards America's policies, yet I never knew he wrote such things. I feel that it is no accident that when someone like him is covered in class that writings like this are conveniently ignored. His article is a sort of dark humor but is brutally honest. Near the end of his article he quotes an excerpt from a letter of a soldier in the Philippine - American war who says, "we never left one alive. If one was wounded we would run our bayonets through him". I feel that this line really sums up the intensity of this terrible moment in history. Twain does a great job of capturing the nature of this war and of America's carefully created false image of what happened during these dark decades.

Another reading that definitely hit home for me was the one by Ileto. Its basically a semi detailed account of the history of the Philippine American war and I think he covers it well. The part that I found particularly interesting was his description of how the war ended and faded into a strange forgetful haze. The Americans destroyed so much of what the Filipinos had and when everyone finally surrendered the US took the role of rehabilitator, as we were the only ones who could really help repair the damage we caused. We decide to be nice long after it is too late when we should never have been involved in the first place. This seems to be a recurring and evolving theme for the US.

It seems that Americans seem to internalize this mentality on different levels. It seems that we feel like we should be welcomed wherever we go. Everyone on this trip seems to be more conscious than the average American but I still find that way of thinking showing up subconsciously. The time this really registered for me was when we were in Batad at the rice terraces. It was such a peaceful, beautiful place and the people in the village lived so simply, I felt like we were desecrating an oasis just by being

there. We walked through the rice terraces and through the middle of the small central village. Although I don't think anyone felt that way, it seemed like we were treating this place and these people as an oddity. Maybe I am overthinking it but I just felt like we did not belong. This didn't ruin my experience though, this was absolutely one of the most amazing places I have ever been, but it did make me very self conscious.