Philippines As Pearl Of The Orient & The Importance of Living Up To Your Name

Mercy & Strength - I have a lot to live up to...

This is my final reflection and I have yet to formally introduce myself: I am Merzamie. I believe in the significance and power of names to create and define an individual, an entity, and so I put aside Mimi – my outer shell, the name I have adopted to blend somewhat more seamlessly in American society –  to give you a better view of the person who has been engaging in, thinking about, and reacting to the experiences one study abroad group from the University of Washington has been fortunate enough to have here in the Philippines.

Back in Bohol Island, where I was born

When I was born, a great aunt combined both of my parents’ names to create Merzamie. My name literally goes out of the way to signify that I am half my mother, half my father; half Mercedes, half Samson. After receiving 23 chromosomes from each parent, I was born on the 23^rd of November, a recipient of a unique and powerful name that means mercy (from Mercedes) and strength (from Samson).

I am Mercy and Strength, personified. It is kind of cool to think about, until the time comes when you realize that you are neither and you have to learn how to possess and be both.

Emilio Aguinaldo's mansion, complete with a bowling alley, a swimming pool, a creepy attic, and secret passages

Though rewarding in many ways, my journey back here, back to the motherland, has turned me loose, shaken me up, and beaten me down, and generally impressed me with the need to live up to my name in order to stay intact and survive. I have been jeepneyed and ferried; I have been flown, paddled, wheeled about and carted around the country; been tripped, flipped, and turned inside and out; I have been disoriented and transformed.

My sister and I before one of our last pre-departure seminars at UW

While years of living in the United States has inclined me to adopt the shorter version of Mimi for assimilation’s sake, there is not enough power in this protective shell of a nickname to sustain my ever deepening and ever expanding sense of identity not only as a Filipina, but as a Filipina living in America. I need to be Merzamie, and be all that my name says I am.

Much like a pearl, I am shedding this outer shell in order to reveal a part of who I am that is ever more precious.

Do you know how pearls are made?

According to a website called The Pearl Market, pearls are natural gems created by a living organism (a mussel or oyster). When a microscopic intruder or parasite enters and settles inside the shell of a mussel or oyster, the organism is irritated and begins to coat the intruder with a special substance it secretes. As the organism repeats this process, layers of the substance build up to eventually form a pearl.

Such a beautiful and hardy thing brought into existence by such harsh forces.

Water fun at Club Manila East, Rizal

My interest in the formation of pearls lies in the fact that the Philippines is known as the Pearl of the Orient. Different people have different ideas as to why the Spaniards gave the Philippines this title. Some speculate that it is because the Philippine seas teem with wild pearls, some cite the nation’s natural resources and beautiful landscape, some its past economic affluence relative to other nations in Southeast Asia, and some give credit to the inward and outward beauty of the Filipino people. These speculations all lend themselves to an image of the Philippines as containing great wealth and beauty – something which I cannot possibly contest. Whatever the case may be, this study abroad experience has stretched my thinking in such a way that I find myself processing information differently and thinking more critically.

Karaoke night; ladies half off, woooh!

In this final reflection, I will share my own interpretation as to why the Philippines has been aptly named the Pearl of the Orient, paying special consideration to the historical events that have served as catalysts to the formation of its national identity. I will then revisit the topics of each of my previous blog entries (six in all), and evaluate my learning throughout the quarter by highlighting various points which drew out a reaction from me. These points would include moments of confusion, understanding, agitation, and hopelessness, as well as those moments from when can be traced an overall sense of ambivalence that has grown and intensified as a result of acquiring an ever evolving, deepening, and truly transformative education this summer.

Taal Volcano in the background. We couldn't get closer because it was extremely active

This picture is a great summary of each of their personalities :D

In this reflection, I will also reflect upon the interactions that occurred within this “UW in the PI” group, sharing how each team member (both students and leaders) contributed to the enrichment of both the program and my experience during this summer study abroad, and including from which points in the process I personally benefited and from which I did not. I have gained a lot from this program, and I can only hope to begin to impart a little bit of that in the following pages.

In front of The Mansion, Baguio

When I read the description of how a pearl is born, my mind instantly reverted back to a reading by Vicente Rafael called “Parricides, Bastards, and Counterrevolution: Reflections on the Philippine Centennial.” In it Rafael recalls the historian Reynaldo Ileto’s observation that, unlike other Southeast Asian countries, the Philippines never had a classical precolonial civilization that it could look back to.

Rafael reflects upon the events the Philippine Centennial serves to commemorate, saying, “In the face of this absence of a classical precolonial order that could be invoked as a symbol of national unity, the Philippine nation-state has instead looked to the Revolution of 1896 and the revolutionary government of 1898 for the origins of nationhood” (362).

The dudes at Bohol, overlooking the Chocolate/Green Hills

Just as I did not know how a pearl is formed, I did not know how 7,107 islands in Southeast Asia came together to form the Republic of the Philippines. It is a curious thing to read that the nation you hold such a high allegiance to did not and could not have existed before colonial rule. There was, apparently, no “suitable source for establishing the archaic and therefore timeless stretch of the Filipino nation” so some historians have instead looked to “the moment of rupture from Spanish colonialism as the ground zero of its historical becoming” (362). This single assumption gives birth to a slew of significant implications.

Man photo before going out to B-Side

It means that, just like the pearl from which the Philippines derives its enchanting title, this island nation came from nothing, was formed when it was needed, and was born because there was a disturbance in the natural order of things.

In Rafael’s own words, “It means that the Filipino nation did not emerge as the return of a glorious past that had been repressed by an alien invasion. Instead, it was precisely the coming of outside forces that allowed for its genesis” (362).

WEEK 0: UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON (UW), SEATTLE, WASHINGTON, UNITED STATES

The parallels I’ve drawn thus far are imperfect, however this part in Rafael’s writing definitely strikes me as the strongest support for my own interpretation as to why the Philippines has been aptly named the Pearl of the Orient. If one takes into consideration the process by which a pearl forms, it is not too hard to draw the parallel that both the pearl and the Philippines are/were formed after the organism and the islands reacted defensively against an intruder that entered the system and settled inside it. Rafael and Ileto’s observations that the Philippine’s national and historical becoming were triggered by “the coming of outside forces” together with the fact that a pearl’s genesis set in motion by the organism’s act of producing a substance with which to coat the offending intruder within its home of a shell both lend themselves to a picture of the Philippines as the Pearl of the Orient.

The group minus Mariana and Steph at a really swank club called the Republiq. We were underdressed

I am adamant in defending this title because other nations in Southeast Asia are vying for and trying to wrestle this title from my motherland. I have already expressed my belief in the significance and power of names to create and define an entity. Just as carefully as I have guarded my own name, I believe it is imperative to protect the title of the Philippines as the Pearl of the Orient because it will preserve an image of its beauty and wealth – both of which have been historically misused and misspent by intruders. This is a crime that continues to this day and I am much saddened by the fact that outsiders who are drawn to the beauty of the Philippines would much rather undress her of her charms and forcefully invade her instead of befriending her and engaging in relations based on mutual elevation.

Butterfly farm in Bohol. We had a really knowledgeable guide

The little that I know about international relations convinces me that every actor on the international stage do, indeed, operate based on self-interest, therefore I am wasting my time sitting here being sad that countries like Spain, Japan and the US have thus far chosen to use overt and covert means in their attempts to use the Philippines to further their own interests.

At the airport, excited to embark on our 8-day island-hopping trip!

During my study abroad, my understanding has been broadened to include such topics as the extent of US imperialism, the prevalence of colonial mentality and the reality of a Filipino Diaspora. With every reading, every lecture, every field trip and every time that I engage with other Filipinos that attests to how much damage the Philippines has sustained at the hands of foreign invaders, I feel myself cycle through a range of emotions that have ultimately left me in a state of deep ambivalence. It is as if I am standing by a pool of blood and watching as more of this life-giving substance gush from its source. I weaken at the sight of the Philippines being that source. I weaken because the Philippines is my lifeblood. How then could I help the feelings of confusion, agitation, understanding, resentment, empowerment, and hopelessness that continuously wash over me at the sight of such trauma?

Everyone came out to celebrate Travis' 21st Birthday, B-Side, reggae night

It is defining moments like these that remind me of the need to live up to my name. To be merciful and forgiving of what has transpired in the past – seeking out reconciliation and rehabilitation in the now; and to be strong and resilient despite the emotional strain caused by eating from the tree of the knowledge of my personal and national histories.

WEEK 1: UNIVERSITY OF THE PHILIPPINES (UP), DILIMAN, QUEZON CITY, PHILIPPINES

During the first week, our readings focused on the United States westward movement. I reacted by writing about the parallels between my family history and my national history and sharing about the initial feeling of bitterness and resentment that I feel are natural when you find out that the information that has been given to you has been one-sided. My bitterness and resentment stemmed from an existence I saw as having been polluted by lies, myths and false memories.

Dean's office at UP

I reacted strongly against the Americanized education I received that excluded weighty matters like the exploitation of the Philippine’s natural resources by the US (Twain), and the genocide US soldiers committed against the native inhabitants of the islands at the turn of the 19^th century (Zinn), and instead repackaged history to reflect a more benevolent image of the US as the savior to an uncivilized and un-Christian collection of tribes in the Pacific (Ileto). Despite the sting, I tried not to expend too much of myself over the readings and strived to emphasize forgiveness – the importance of being able to forgive what’s been done in the past and move on.

Very early on, I realized the importance of mercy, but remembering to be forgiving of the past would prove more and more challenging as the program progressed and I came to understand that “the past” is still with us in the present.

WEEK 2: BANAUE, BATAD, BAGUIO

The second week focused on readings theorizing American Exceptionalism. Here I had time to reflect on the state of the Philippine education system which, apparently, was modeled after the American system (Apilado). A feeling of being caged in between two flawed education systems welled up inside of me and I had a difficult time substantiating why I hold such a strong belief in the power of education to change individuals and societies for the better.

I grew weary thinking that it would not have mattered whether I had been educated in the Philippines or the US – my education would have still been grossly edited to paint a picture of the Philippines as a poor and helpless nation in constant need of supervision and aid from more advanced countries like the US (Lumbera).

I also began to connect my feelings of isolation in the states to my disconnection with my Filipino heritage and culture. Visiting the Commission on Filipinos Overseas opened my eyes up to the fact that my family and I are not the only ones who have endured what we have. As first-generation immigrants, we did not know the importance of being connected to the past, to the culture, to the people.

The visit to the CFO definitely picked me up emotionally and psychologically. There was something very comforting about the fact that we were not the only ones. Readings like Bose’s “Baguio Graffiti” afforded me a glimpse into another person’s experience of Otherness, or of being isolated and excluded from what is acceptable and admirable.

Holding our own review session after class. The material is that interesting!

I was able to give what education I had more breadth by picking up on some similarities between the Filipino’s story of oppression under the US and other people groups who have likewise experienced current and historical trauma at the hand of the US: Japanese-Americans, African-Americans, and Native-Americans (Alcantara).

WEEK 3: UP, RIZAL

The third week focused on Education, and I found myself very affected by Constantino’s “The Miseducation of the Filipino.” I engaged that week’s activity of training for and competing in a tournament for Arnis, the Philippine national martial arts, by likening Education to a double-edged sword and expounding on how America disarmed the Philippines even before the latter could pick up her “weapon” of education.

All three of us girls won both of our matches!

My sense of ambivalence really started to kick in when I gained a deeper knowledge of how the Philippine education system has been used as a colonial tool to capture the children’s minds and subjugate the Filipino people.  That week’s visit to Ateneo de Manila University coincided well with the topic and it was with much discomfort that I observed Constantino’s words manifested in the decisively different environment and mannerisms of the students. Constantino’s claim that “the master stroke to use education as an instrument of colonial policy was the decision to use English as the medium of instruction” was obvious in that the students were very well-versed in English but lacking in Filipino.

Parody of the skin whitening products that physically and psychologically assault women here in the Philippines

With ever growing discomfort, I reflected on how I, too, have become a “little American” as a result of what has been passed down to me not only as a student, but also as a citizen of a “Third World” nation. My ambivalence was such that formulating a decisive claim for each succeeding blog post was made more challenging in that my beliefs and opinions clashed and contradicted as often as the numerous contradictions and paradoxes I observed in the history of the Philippines.

Dog House at Ateneo

In my ambivalence and despair, I did not believe that either Constantino’s idea to reform the Philippine education system or Anakbayan’s armed revolution to take power from the elite and give it back to the people would successfully affect positive change in Filipino society.

WEEK 4: BATANGAS, BATAAN, TAGAYTAY

The fourth week’s focus was on youth and identity. I found David and Okazaki’s article on colonial mentality very troubling as it details the detrimental effects Spanish and American colonial rule has had on people of Filipino backgrounds. At the same time, I found it insightful and relatable on levels that I had already discussed in previous posts. It put a name to an illness that I felt but could not identify, and I believe this naming is essential in battling the illness, the disease of colonial mentality that pervades Philippine society.

Traditional wear, Baguio 

Overlooking Baguio, a beautiful city where we only spent a day

In putting a name to an entire people’s feelings of inferiority, the construct of colonial mentality explained so much to me in terms of why people here are so invested in looking as un-Filipino as possible and as American as possible. Besides the use of the English language as the medium of instruction (instead of, say, picking one from the hundreds of languages already in use here in the Philippines), the most evident symptom of colonial mentality existing in the Philippines is the Filipino’s attempt to physically appear Westernized: white, blue- or gray-eyed, and blonde (more like iron-colored hair).

Tree swinging and other adventures in Baguio 

Tennis shoes ruins this picture, seriously

The presence of colonial mentality is observable in every being that walks the Philippines – such is the reach of Americanization and the effectiveness of a culture that has been exported to create “little Americans” who look up to the superpower that is the US, perhaps with most never even suspecting that in loving what is not theirs, they harbor an internalized sense of inferiority that is even harder to treat.

WEEK 5: CATICLAN, BORACAY, CEBU, MACTAN, BOHOL

The fifth week’s focus was on the National Democratic Movement and Women’s Movement. Again, I felt very strongly about Chang’s and Parenas’ articles on the migration of Filipina women as domestic workers in various countries abroad. The stories that Chang and Parenas shared about the women who sacrifice so much for their families and endure so much at the hands and in the homes of foreigners abroad reminded me of my own mother’s sacrifices and experience of providing for a family divided in two countries as a single and first-generation mother.

From Viola’s article on the situation of Overseas Contract Workers and their role as the Philippine’s “new heroes” from the previous week, to this week’s even deeper exposition on the conditions, abuses and trafficking of women abroad, I began to trace a class of oppression that is deeper and more widespread for women and girls, though an entire people do suffer from negative circumstances brought on by policies put in place by foreigners or by what Anakbayan claims is the puppet presidents in the Philippines.

Don't mess with these girls

Having grown up in a household of very strong women, I decried that the beauty and strength and ability of the Filipina should be so poorly used and so widely abused.  I reflected that, for their beauty, women are sold as sex slaves; and for their strength, women are exported as cheap labor.

About to ride some ATVs in the island of Boracay

And here we are heading towards the highest point on the island

The beginning of an extremely fun night of dancing, Boracay

Chocolate Hills (Green Hills at this time of the year) in the island of Bohol

 

One of the highest points in Bohol overlooking the hills

Having lunch on a boat down a river, Bohol. My cousin Romualdo and his wife are included in this picture. Family reunions + food + a beautiful scenery = win!

Until this point, I had only read and studied about other people groups’ migrations. It was very interesting to discover that the Filipinos have their own story of diaspora. As aforementioned, moments like these really hammer the fact that we are not isolated events, and we don’t exist in a vacuum.

It is hard to feel merciful and strong in the face of facts and realities like these. As a colored female gaining an understanding of how things really work in a patriarchal society, I feel a sense of helplessness creep in, and I wonder why there is hardly anyone who dares to challenge the system.

WEEK 6: UP, RIZAL, CAVITE

The sixth week’s focus was on resistance. I read about the likes of Malcolm X who did stand up for his own people, and David Fagen who, although he was an African-American soldier, still sided with the Filipino forces during the Philippine-American War after realizing the similarities between the plight of his own people and that of the Filipinos who are fighting for freedom and independence. I read figures like these, and I am heartened. There are people out there, and they are willing to fight for not only the women, but the children, the elderly, their fellow men.

Saying goodbye to our UW group :(

As complicated the story and history are, I still believe that the fight for national liberation and personal betterment begins with education: being aware of the conditions of your society and having the concern and the heart to affect positive change within it. This is why I am grateful that the University of Washington was able to sponsor a study abroad here in the Philippines. As I have already detailed, there was much learning, reflecting and engaging going on among the students. I am grateful for each of the other eight students in the program who made this summer one of the best learning and living experiences of my life.

ANGELO

Angelo, I won’t forget how you stayed up late just to accompany me in the lounge, and how your company even came with a sandwich. That was the first time and only opportunity we had to really share deep stories about our experiences in the states and our family here in the US.

The rest of the time, I appreciated your wonderful humor and coveted your dancing skills.

CHRISTY

Christy, embarking on this study abroad program with you has been the best and also the most difficult part of my experience this summer.

It has been difficult because, no matter where we are, I retain my old-sister attitude and will always feel protective of you. I also count this as the best aspect because although we each have our own ways of dealing and learning, I know that we will both look back on this trip and be able to say that we took a journey together and, most importantly, that it counted.

JOHN

John, I think I miss you the most because I talked to and shared with ]you the most. Thank you for your willingness to be vulnerable to me and to the rest of the group. That vulnerability can serve as a source of strength sometimes. It was interesting finding so many similarities between us, and invigorating to hear you talk about the ways you are actively personal, intellectual, artistic and spiritual growth.

You Are The Best Rapper! Now introduce yourself to the world. P.S. That's just Christy's leg

LENA

Magdalena, when I am around you I seriously feel safe and sound. You have that calming and nurturing quality aura about you. I admire a lot of things about you, which kind of seem random, but here are the ones that leap to my fingertips: your dedication in attending church despite the hectic schedule, your caring attitude manifested every time you told me that my eye makeup was smudged, your diligence in waiting to eat until everyone else’s order had arrived, and the close bond you developed with Mariana. This was something else to look at.

MARIANA

Mariana, I wish I had known how strong and outspoken you were earlier on in the program. We didn’t get the chance to talk much, until that rocky van trip from Bataan, but I’m glad that you eventually opened up to me. My experience this summer would not be as rich had I missed that chance to sit in the back of the van with you.

Out of all the girls in the trip, you are probably the one I am least worried about because you speak your mind and you do so without hesitation. I still remember your answer to the hot seat question of what you pray about – or something like that.

STEPH

Steph, thank you for being such a thoughtful and considerate roommate! Despite the fact that we both wanted the single room, I think the arrangement ultimately turned out for the best. I was glad to see you spend time with your family and friends here in the Philippines outside our time together. I hope you do amazing things in FASA this year. I’m looking forward to attending a meeting when I get back!

TERENCE

Terence, your chillness literally makes me hyper aware of how tense I naturally am. Besides the chill actor, I am glad that those nights of walking back and forth from Roc restaurant were filled with conversations about family and financial aid (two things that are obviously really important to us). You are so easy to talk to and so deep in a way that doesn’t often evoke that word.

TRAVIS

Travis, fellow English major! We surprisingly did not have nerd out and talk too much literature during the trip. I think that the things we did talk about have been the ones that will embed themselves on my mind the longest.

Besides your great looks, another thing I appreciate about you was in finding out that you are actually pretty family-oriented. I liked that you showed respect for your mother and the loving way you talked about her. I also remember you making a comment about being a one-woman man, a sentiment that is rare these days and one that impressed me about you.

FRANK

  

Frank, thank you for making me laugh a lot during this trip. It was great having someone so resourceful as you. I wish you had connections in the Mindanao region, too. 

LEAH

Leah, thank you for sharing your own family history with me. You are a great storyteller and I wish I had solicited more stories from you. Also, thank you for the thoughtful comments you left on our blog posts. Even though you were doing so to grade them, having such a close reader like you made writing a treat!

CHARD

Kuya, thank you for always being ready to capture random moments with your camera phone. I went to Divisoria the other day and really missed having you as my tawad man. Strangely enough, one of the things I will miss about you is the way you say Magdalena and Mariana's names. I can actually still hear their names in my head.

THIRD

Third, thank you for making this program possible for us to join. If it were not for your vision, we would not be here, and I personally might not have had the chance to reconnect with my father and sister. Besides these, thank you for your beautiful family.

ANDRESENS

Being welcomed into Lolo’s house  was one of the highlights of this trip for me. Family, that’s where it’s at. And because of you and all the patience-inducing moments during this trip, we created a 13-member family in six weeks’ time. 

Dinner in Cebu

With this marvelous group of people, it was not hard to cultivate a sense of belonging. No one was ever left behind in the activities and I don’t believe anyone ever felt separated from the rest. The conflicts that did arise were mainly related to immersion in a different culture and a new and ambitious curriculum. Culture-wise, we had issues with time (Philippine time vs American time); curriculum-wise, we encountered some problems with the blog deadlines (content and extensions), and grading (timely feedback and allocation of points).

Before dancing by a beach-side club in Boracay

Most of these conflicts were resolved through discussions during our Monday quiz sections. I appreciated the fact that the leaders were forthright with us, and treated us like responsible adults. I also really appreciate my classmates for taking the initiative and speaking their minds when unspoken sentiments were palpable in the air and it would have been awkward to speak. Our time together and the bond we formed with each other made bringing up the awkward less awkward. 

The girls with Mark, our local Cebuano

As I sit here reflecting over the activities, information, friendships and conversations that transpired within the six weeks allotted for the program, I can’t help but well up with joy. This has not been a purely academic journey for me. I have accomplished much in terms of my goal of reuniting with my father and his side of the family and getting to know him and my sister during the two weeks that followed the end of the program. Everything so far has been so well laid out. I am thankful to God for paving such a smooth path for me to follow. I am thankful that people and events have coincided in the way that they have. I feel enriched.

This guy played the coolest songs! He dedicated a couple to our table, and one special song for Steph

Despite all the negative emotions that swirl and overwhelm me in knowing about the Philippine’s history and current conditions, the depth, magnitude and implications of the knowledge I have gained here has given me a special responsibility. This trip has asked a lot of me. It has asked me to really look into who I am. When all the information and knowledge I gain turn my emotions and beliefs askew, I call myself back to me by remembering who I am: I am mercy and I am strength. How I have needed to be both and live up to my name during this trip. I can call myself back to the now and, from there, I push onward.

I ate really good rice and Pandan Chicken here, at a really cool mall in Cebu

The Philippines is an enchanting and wealthy nation. The Filipino people are strong and resilient, and the Filipina women are beautiful and selfless in their love for their family.

The Philippines is worth it. The more irritating the intruder’s presence, the more layers are added to this spherical gem,  and the more precious and beautiful it becomes.