I'll be back Philippines...

                  It has been nineteen years since I have been in the Philippines and seen my extended Filipino family. The first time I visited the Philippines was in 1992 for my uncle Romulo’s wedding. The only Filipino family members I have seen since 1992 are in the picture down below. They are the only Filipino family members residing in the United States. This picture was taken during my uncle Romulo’s (my father’s younger brother) wedding. When I came back to the Philippines for the second time in June 2011 (a week before the study abroad program), I was able to find this picture in my grandparent’s house in Bacoor, Cavite and re-take this photo using my digital camera. When I saw this picture, I thought in 1992, I was only a flower girl who knew little about her Filipino identity. The only things I remembered was getting mosquito bites all over my body, seeing geckos and cockroaches inside the house, eating Filipino food, playing around my grandparent’s house, and of course my uncle’s wedding.

(1992-From left to right: father, mother, uncle Rodney, uncle Romulo, auntie Loise, grandma, grandpa)

(June 2011-Front row: maid and helper, middle and back row: family members)

It was hard for me to take full pride in being Filipino because I did not “look” like a Filipino. When I told people that I was half Filipino, they would say, “You don’t look Filipino.” or “You aren’t Filipino. Prove it.” I was not able to stand up for myself because I did not know much about the Filipino language, history, culture and traditions. I always showed them my last name or introduced my father to them to prove to them that I was Filipino. Being Filipino started to become my "hidden identity". No one could tell I was half Filipino and I personally did not know my Filipino identity. Growing up, I always felt like I was more Korean American. My mother would cook Korean food almost every day, watched Korean folk and modern dramas, celebrated Korean holidays, and used the Korean language when she had her Korean friends over. When my father was stationed at Osan Air Force Base, my family and I lived in Korea for two years. Being in Korea for two years exposed me to the Korean traditions and culture. When I attended college at the University of Washington, I enrolled in Korean language, history, and literature classes. I was able to fully develop my Korean identity after learning the Korean history and language. Before I attended college, English would be the medium language used in the household. During college, I was able to talk to my mother in both Korean and English.  My father never spoke Tagalog or Ilocano in the household unless he was talking to my grandparents over the phone. He did not know how to cook Filipino food nor did he celebrate Filipino holidays. The only Filipino tradition and custom he upheld was Catholicism. Both my parents raised me as a Catholic and as a family we would attend mass every Sunday, pray before meals, pray the rosary, attend confessions and follow all the other Catholic teachings. My father was very Americanized and he showed more American pride in the household. I struggled with my Filipino identity based on how I was socially accepted and how I was raised.

            The Comparative History of Ideas Study Abroad Program in the Philippines gave me the opportunity to re-establish my Filipino identity. After leaving the Philippines, I have never felt more Filipino in my life. I was able to build up my Filipino pride and learn what it meant to be a Filipino. I was able to learn a little Tagalog, taste different Filipino food, learn the history and culture. Engaging with community members, activists, Philippine University students and staff allowed me to hear different perspectives and views on Filipino history and issues. Being enrolled in Professor Jose’s classes, Commonwealth of the Philippines and United States Policies in the Philippines allowed me to learn and understand how United States exceptionalism took place in political, educational, religious systems. According to the director, Mr. Andresen, United States exceptionalism theory explains that the United States is an exceptional, unique, and superior nation among all nations in terms of its national credo, historical evolution, political, and religious institutions, origins of U.S. hegemony, and the utilization of national histories. The class articles and lectures were connected to one another and explained the colonial intentions and results of the United States. In the Commonwealth of the Philippines class, I was able to learn the beginnings of United States exceptionalism in political institutions. Professor Jose explained that on June 12, 1898 Philippines declared independence and in February 1899, the Filipino American War took place. During the tutelage period from 1901-1913, Americanization took place in the political, educational, and economic institutions. The United States controlled the Philippine government and was under constant surveillance. The Philippine government had to have a high commissioner who became the eyes and ears of the Philippines and had to report to United States President. Filipinos were in the political system but never on top. If a crisis would occur, the United States President could step in at any time and handle the matter. Professor Jose also mentioned that from 1920s on the Philippines became more Americanized through media (music and talk shows on radio airwaves, movies, television, newspapers, and magazines). He further explained that in 1931 the Philippine Independence Congress was established. In 1934, the Tydings-McDuffie Act was approved to provide for self-government of the Philippines and for Filipino independence after a period of ten years. During this time, the drafting of the Philippine constitution was made. The constitution was very similar to the United States constitution. Under this act, Filipinos had autonomy in everyday affairs such as the Filipino Press, freedom of religion, bill of rights etc. Debts and expenses were handled by the Philippine government and the Filipinos needed to comply with the United States foreign policy (military bases, free trade currency tied to the United States dollar). The Philippine constitution needed to be approved by the United States, and immigration to the United States was limited. I learned that during the Philippine Commonwealth period 1935-1946, a final draft of the Philippine constitution was approved by Roosevelt and a supreme court, an executive, legislative and judicial branch was structured with the guidance of the United States. 

                                                     (Professor Jose and the group)

Because the American impact was very strong, the current Philippine political system is still dependent on U.S. political policies today. Anakbayan informed us that there are one-sided treaties with the United States that only caters to the interest of the ruling class. Such treaties include the transfer of military equipment and supplies to the Armed Forces of the Philippines and Police. The English language is also being used in media, religious, political and educational institutions today. In the article, The Miseducation of the Filipino Constantino explains that the schools in the Philippines have resulted to having an “un-Filipino education”. Constantino said, “Philippine history books have portrayed America as a benevolent nation which came here to save us from Spain and to spread amongst us the boons of liberty and democratic.” Filipinos  who read these books were misinformed. Both Spain and the United States wanted to take advantage of foreign trade, land ownership, natural resources and sovereignty. In 1903 military officers were the superintendents of schools and the enlisted men were teachers. They taught the Filipinos the American language, laws, and civilization through education. English became a status symbol while the other native languages were looked down upon. From my experiences here, I have learned that in the University of the Philippines and Ateneo University, English is the medium of instruction. Anyone that I had approached on any of the campuses knew the English language fairly well. The Americans believed it was important for the Filipinos to learn their intentions and understand that they could progress under American direction. The American Indian Education in the Philippines Paulet explains, “The United States wanted to create not an educated elite but an educated populace. Only such a populace could support the governmental and economic system the United States envisioned for the Philippines.” Education was used as a tool to mold Filipinos to think, talk, and act in the “American way”.

Not only has American exceptionalism made an impact on Filipinos, the Spanish colonization from 1521-1898 have contributed to the colonial mentality Filipinos have today. In the article Pappy’s House by Diaz he says, “For Spain, colonial regulation of money, gender, race, sexuality, language and identity took place within, among other institutions and practices. Spaniards produced the idea that they were white parents to indios figured as dark children, or pequenos ninos, or their Anglo-American cousins, the picaninnies, in need of proper guidance and upbringing.”  Both colonizers were light skinned and brought upon the belief that they were superior to the Filipinos. They discriminated against Filipino’s physical attributes and way of thinking by negatively labeling them as uncivilized and dark skinned savages. In the article The Colonial Mentality Scale for Filipino Americans: Scale Construction and Psychological Implications, David and Okazaki have found evidence through research that colonial mentality is passed on to later generations through socialization and continued oppression which negatively affects the mental health of modern day Filipino Americans. Filipinos were brainwashed to believing “whiteness” is exceptional and beautiful. In media, only “white” skinned Filipinos are seen on television, large billboards, magazine advertisements etc. Media definitely portrays "white" to be beautiful and has led many Filipino men and women to internal oppression. When I saw an ad in a magazine for a nose-lift on Cebu Pacific Air, it reminded me of when I thought about getting a nose-lift when I was younger. I used to say I didn't like my nose because it was flat. I changed my mind about wanting to get surgery because I thought that the only Filipino physical attribute I had was my flat nose and that was the only way people would believe I was "half" Filipino. I have to admit, it was a silly idea. After I read the article, I realized that I had a colonial mentality growing up. Especially when I felt more "American" than Filipino. 
The Spaniards have also contributed to the spread of Christianity through education. Both colonizers used education as a means to transform the Filipinos to become “civilized” beings. In every city and island we have visited in the Philippines, Catholic and Christian churches were found everywhere. I had no problem finding a church to attend on Sundays, because there was always one around the corner. In all the churches that I have been to in the Philippines, the priest and the people spoke and responded in English. Other than churches, there has also been a spread of “American” malls located in every city. In every night club I have been to, “American” music was played. The Filipino basketball teams also had “American” basketball players. American exceptionalism was at every location we visited except the untouched Batad Rice Terraces.

Going on this study abroad trip with a diverse group of people allowed me to hear and understand their different views and opinions of the various topics discussed. I really liked how this group had different ethnicities and backgrounds. The only conflict I could remember was when there was miscommunication with the faculty and the students. It was resolved through a group discussion. Overall the group got along pretty well. No one was disrespectful when someone expressed their feelings or opinions. Each member on this trip came with an open-mind and a positive attitude. Everyone was eager to learn and was willing to try something new. I’m very thankful to have had the opportunity to go on this trip. The decisions that were made throughout the quarter were either made by the faculty or the whole group. The type of decisions that were made was mainly for extracurricular activities or free time. A big shoutout to Third for fighting for this program. If it wasn’t for you, I would not have been able to learn and understand American exceptionalism nor would I have been able to get in touch with my Filipino roots. Thank you Leah, Frank, and Kuya Chard for accompanying Third on this trip. All of you made sure each and every one of us was safe. Each of you put in a lot of effort in organizing this trip and I truly appreciate it. To the fabulous 8 student group members, thank you for applying to this study abroad program. If one of you did not attend, the group dynamic definitely would not have been the same. I really liked how everyone had something to offer and we were able to feed off of each other. Thanks everyone for the smiles, laughs, and memories…this experience will forever be cherished. <3

                                                          (Group picture) 

                                                         (Fabulous 9)


This will definitely not be my last time in the Philippines. I plan to return to the Philippines and take part in a community service project(s) that will help benefit my people. I'll be back Philippines...